The Bundu Bad Boys were a gang of thieves who lived in a hide-out deep in the bush. They were bad. They were mean. They were rough. They were tough. They were also very stupid; well, all of them apart from their leader, Sipho (Sticks) Dlamini, the cunning little rat.

Besides Sticks, the other gang members included Mvula Mthethwa, the squint tortoise with a pimped up shell with low profile wheels built in, Kolle Gabriels the spotted, tattooed hyena and Jakes Mkhize (a.k.a. Bra Jakes), the golden toothed baboon.

One day, while the Bundu Bad Boys were in their hide-out, playing cards and smoking (that's what thieves do when they're not stealing), Sticks said: "Boys, the money we stole from the last robbery is almost finished. Now, since you knuckle heads are too dumb to come up with plans, I've come up with an ingenious plan for us."
He laughed and rubbed his little front paws together (as bad guys always do).

When his maniacal laughter died down, he continued: "I read in the Daily Sun today that there will be a special ceremony this weekend. The King of Mesopotatorania or something is going to be presenting a new, very blingy, crown to our dear Queen. This crown is worth a fortune and we are going to be at the ceremony to take it."
He burst out in evil laughter again. It was really an annoying habit, but the other Bad Boys were used to it by now.

"So, how are we going to steal it?" asked Bra Jakes.
"Yes, boss," echoed the rest.
"Easy peasy, sphatlho with polony and processed cheesy" replied Sticks. "We sneak into the ceremony, throw a few firecrackers and smoke bombs into the crowd just when the King hands over the new crown and then grab it." He started laughing again - really an irritating habit.

The first bit of preparation for their plan was to head off to the Crazy Store for some disguises and to Abdullah's Cash and Carry for some fire crackers and smoke bombs. The disguises consisted of cheap plastic wigs (the shop only had pink and red), moustaches, sunglasses, hats and that sort of thing. In addition, Bra Jakes raided his mom's cupboard for a lovely floral dress, which he filled in the front with two large oranges. Mvula decided to disguise himself as a rock.

On the morning of the celebration, after the final touches of a plastic fish tank plant or two on Mvula's shell and a bit of lipstick and mascara, the Bad Boys headed off the ceremony in their old black Toyota with heavily tinted windows. They pushed through the crowd to get as close as possible to the stage. After a number of performances and speeches, Sticks gave the cue and Mvula lit the crackers and smoke bombs, which Kolle threw into the crowd.

There was instant confusion. Ladies screamed. Babies cried. The wildebeest almost started to stampede. The Bad Boys rushed onto the stage, grabbed the crown and sprinted back to their car as fast as they could (with Bra Jakes in high heels). Their car was conveniently parked in the wheelchair parking, so they got away just in time.

Back at their hide-out, Sticks took the crown out of its bag and inspected it with deep satisfaction. He began to laugh again (super annoying, really). The first step would be to remove the diamonds and melt the crown down to be sold on the black market, or on Gumtree. After taking the diamonds out and laughing evilly with each shiny stone clinking in the bowl, Sticks ordered the others to build a big fire to melt the gold.

When Sticks threw the crown into the melting pot, he began to smell something awful, like burning plastic or chemicals. The Bad Boys began to cough. Just then, the door was kicked down theatrically by the police chief and a dozen armed policemen rushed into the hide-out. They grabbed the Bad Boys, cuffed them and pushed them into their van. This time, the police chief, a very macho impala, was the one laughing, but his laugh was much less annoying.

While they were serving out their prison sentence for burglary, shoplifting (involving cigarettes and chocolate mainly), illegal parking, public indecency, the possession of illegal weapons and basically all kinds of theft, the Bad Boys found out that the ceremony had been a trick to catch them. The kingdom's budget made provision for a celebration that year and the police chief saw the opportunity to try to tempt the bad boys and to follow them to their hide-out.

There was no King of Mesopotatorania (Sticks knew that sounded a bit weird) and the crown was fake. Prison was a terrible punishment for the Bad Boys. The beds were full of fleas, the food tasted like cardboard and the cigarettes were few. The only good thing was that Sticks ceased his annoying laughter. He also began to think of plans to make money honestly. "Sticks and Co. Panelbeaters" or "Bright Side Laundromat", he sometimes whispered to himself.